Obviously Tina has fallen down on the job here, so I feel compelled to step in. I tried to get her to write this blog herself, but she said something about sleep and the alarm clock so I'll give it a shot. For the record, I can't figure out for the life of me why she gets up so early and runs around the house doing so much stuff. Humans, who can figure them out?
My name is Pierre. Many of you out there know me already. Yes, it's me, the standard poodle that lives at Tina's house. (Shout out to Emma if she's reading this.) I must confess, it does sometimes get kind of boring just lying around the house, so I thought I'd try my hand at blogging. Besides there's finally some national news that interests me.
Generally I'm apolitical. Well, alright, yes, I do occasionally attend the anti-war/peace vigil with my tree-hugging owners. Alright, alright, yes, I also used to wear a "Bite Bush" sign around my neck at the vigil, but that was mostly Tina's idea. I just went along with it to be polite. Well, I did think Bush was an idiot. But generally I'm opposed to such obvious simplistic political sloganism.
Which is why I'm happy to see that finally the media has hit upon an issue that requires both intellectual depth and emotional nuance to fully appreciate. In other words, an issue worthy of my attention.
Yes, I'm talking about the first puppy issue.
Now, before you say I'm biased, consider what President Obama elect is looking for in a dog. I believe he said he needs a hypoallergenic dog? Well, what can I say? Poodle.
And, after all, whatever dog he chooses will have to be capable of holding up under the scrutiny of the press. And look good doing so. We standard poodles are refined and elegant, alert and intelligent. Even those of us that are slightly more excitable exhibit a sophistication and zest for life that's rare in a four-legged mammal. In fact we are so intelligent and savvy that we make the humans we live with feel and behave more intelligently themselves, just from being around us.
I have read that Sasha Obama wants a goldendoodle. That might be a good compromise, given President-elect Obama's stated penchant for mutts. I've heard that labradoodles are quite personable also, though I've never met one.
But why settle for less than the best? I'm sure there are many very nice goldendoodles, but we standard poodles are a breed apart. We are not working dogs. We've been companion dogs for centuries. We are experts at it. Think of us as the professional diplomats of the dog world. We don't often commit faux pas, but when we do we're mortified though we can still pull the situation off with aplomb.
I know the politically correct thing to do would be for the Obama's to bring home a "rescue" dog. But the fact of the matter is, standard poodles aren't abandoned. And what does that say about our personalities? It say that we are adept at insinuating ourselves into the very fabric of human life, not in an intrusive way of course, but in a pleasant, civilized and deeply satisfying way. Our humans soon find their lives unimaginable without us. We bring beauty, charm and a subtle sense of life's richness wherever we go.
Mr Obama, surely a man of your obvious intelligence would benefit by having a standard poodle in his life.
And don't worry about your image. You don't have to do all that frou frou stuff with our hair. Humans just get carried away because we inspire artistic feelings and they sometimes can't resist expressing those feelings with us. I admit it's a little embarrassing at times, but we forgive them because their hearts are in the right place. Just resist those urges and we can look fairly normal, though perhaps not, dare I say, redneck.
I hope you will take this request seriously. I make it with your best interests at heart. Tina worked very hard in your campaign, and so I want to see you do well in your presidency. In helping you, I also feel I am helping her. Tina has been good to me and I want only good things for her. I know she is anxiously awaiting your coming policy decisions. I think it would give her a feeling of confidence if you exhibited wisdom in your dog choice.
Of course this is only my humble opinion. There are many nice dogs out there and I'm sure you'll make a good choice, no matter which way you go with it.
Pierre the poodle
PS The picture heading this entry isn't me. I found it on Openphoto (or something like that). Isn't she beautiful. See what I mean about standard poodles?